


In Her Shoes

by gladiatorgrl2703



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alias: Alice Josten, All kinds of messed up these two, Angst, Angsty Andrew, Angsty Neil, Assumed dead on both sides, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark!Josten, Don't worry it isn't happy, M/M, Natalie Wesninski - Freeform, Neil's got a sister y'all, Post Foxhole Court, Reunited Siblings, She's a Raven, Sibling AU, Sister AU, Slow Build, Sort Of, There's some fluff if you look really hard, Trauma, Uhhh kind of?, We're talking right in the middle of The Raven King people, angst on angst on angst, canon-typical trauma, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-02-17 03:10:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13067883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladiatorgrl2703/pseuds/gladiatorgrl2703
Summary: Natalie Wesninski has been assumed dead. Granted, she practically is--Riko had been sure to strip away very bit of her former identity except the name. It hardly mattered, she was free from her mother, safe from her father, and with Nathaniel dead she didn't have much else to live for. At the very least, she got to play Exy, for the Ravens no less. And she got to live and breathe the only place that mattered: the court. It's all she needed. And then she sees her brother for the first time in five years, telling Riko Moriyama off on National television.__“I’ll try my best at running. If not, I trust you all with a disposal plan. Especially with that one’s past,” Natalie pointed at Andrew.“Kill first plan later,” Andrew said with a wide menacing smile.“I like his style,” Natalie decided. It sounded more like a threat than an admission of admiration, and Neil felt tension crackle between the two of them like lightening.__Multi-chapter fic, alternating viewpoints (Andrew, Natalie, Neil). Tentative Title. Not Beta Read. I suck at summaries.





	1. Chapter 1

Andrew couldn't stop her words from echoing around in his skull.

_We're the same. We're the same. We're the same._

He wanted it to be untrue. He wanted to point out the dozen ways they were clearly not the same. Wanted to offer Neil—her brother—as proof somehow. But he didn’t often make a habit of denying the truth. And he couldn't deny it. Especially not now. Especially not watching her bleed out on the bleached tile of the girl’s locker room floor.

The slices ran across her thighs, her arms, her abdomen. They were worse than he'd seen when Neil had returned from the Nest. This wasn't anything other than a warning, her life be damned. Andrew wasn't surprised, and he reminded himself that he wasn't concerned. She had chosen this by staying at Riko's side, by allowing herself to be used against her brother. Having her dead meant it was easier to keep Neil alive.

But he could almost see it, floating in the back of his mind, the look on Neil's face when he found out she was dead. Because he would find out. Riko wouldn't let him get away with being ignorant of this. Riko would tell him, one way or another, and he would be sure to include Andrew's part in it.

"Goddammit," he muttered crouching down to be closer to the young girl. He pulled his phone from his pocket and clicked a few times until he got to Wymack's number.

"Coach," he said cheerily. "You'll never guess who is bleeding out in the locker room right now.”

“Andrew, I swear to god-"

“The Josten girl,” he interrupted, not bothering with time or patience for Wymack’s posturing. “What do you say? Should I hang her out to dry here or are you going to send Abby?"

“Shouldn't I also be calling the police?"

"Oh coach, don’t ask silly questions.” He wouldn’t touch her, even as he moved closer to examine the sheen of sweat across her forehead. “The real question is whether Neil Josten’s problems will ever stop affecting everyone else."

* * *

** Two months earlier **

It was the first time she had seen her brother in five years, and he was telling off Riko Moriyama on national television.

She could hardly believe it. Her body went numb almost the moment she saw his image flash across the screen, but the shock only lasted the duration of Nathaniel’s diatribe. She watched Riko’s face change, his cold calculating smile emerge, and in the next moment she put her fist through the wall of the viewing room.

Jean directed his attention to her. Riko wasn't there to give clear directives, but his orders were predictable enough that Jean knew what to do. He grabbed her wrist before she could inflict further damage and brushed a thumb over the angry red flesh.

“Don’t,” he said. 

He didn’t say anything else, didn’t ask any questions, just kept hold of her wrist and turned his attention back to the screen where Nathaniel was going off again. Kevin looked absolutely terrified next to him, and Natalie could understand why.

It was over almost the moment it had began; Kathy was waving into the camera and promising her viewers an exciting season of Exy.

“Stay out of his sight,” Jean warned in French as he left the room backstage to go tend to Riko. Jean didn’t know about Nathaniel, not really anyway. She’d been adamant that he had died, convinced herself of it too. The warning was for Riko’s volatility, not her part in creating it. Still, it was sound advice, staying planted where she was. She felt Riko coming long before she heard him enter the room.

Livid was a word that couldn’t quite encapsulate the pure rage pumping through him. Strings of nonsense muttered in Japanese under tight lips filled the room. They were in public still, and this close to other people—to  _press_  no less—Riko was unlikely to strike out. Natalie took solace in the small hope that Riko’s rage would be split equally between Jean and herself. But that could only last so long.

“Get me the glass. Get me  _his_  glass,” he ordered. It was unclear whether he was speaking to Jean or Natalie, so they both moved.

“Natalie, stay.”

She stopped in her tracks, refusing to look at him. She kept compliant, eyes fixed on her boots.

“Find out everything you can about this boy. Use every collective resource we have, understand?”

Bile rose in her throat. She made a snap decision not to tell him right there, and every second after that was hell. It became too late for her to say anything, so she stalled, bid her time best she could.

It took one week for Riko to find out who ‘Neil Josten’ really was.

He treated Natalie exactly as she expected when he realized she’d been keeping it from him. It was hell. Torture punctuated with mental images of her brother alive, moving across an Exy court, moving in sync with Kevin Day. A knife slicing underneath flesh, a strange zigzag pattern Riko had found a new affinity for crafting. He was shit with a blade—Natalie was sure her father would agree with her assessment—but what he lacked in talent he more than made up for in fervor. And the forced self-mutilation, that was the worst. He may be shit with a blade, but she wasn’t.

Her teammates jumped on her fresh bruises and new limps like the vultures they were, checking her particularly hard during practices until she can barely keep her weight up against her stick. Her skills on the court plummeted, and with them came new punishments.

It isn’t until two weeks before the banquet that Riko decided how he would approach Nathaniel.

He told her at the end of a particularly brutal session with Jean.

She was strapped to the bed, Jean brandishing a blade to her stomach as delicately as he could manage without incurring the wrath of Riko.

“You will come with us to the banquet. A family reunion of sorts.” Riko’s voice was bored. That was how she knew exactly how enraged he truly was.

Her dress arrived several days later, and Riko made her try it on the moment it arrived. He made quick notes as he circled her, standing barefoot in the midst of his room. Her toes gripped hard into the plush carpet below her, and she took solace in knowing that at least a large portion of her body would have to remain unharmed if he truly wanted her to wear such a revealing number. It wouldn’t provide that much protection, most of her thighs and all of her midsection was covered, but it was at least something to cling onto. She traced the outlines of the dress onto her skin long after she had changed, and spent the remaining days watching bruises and cuts heal along those parts of her body.

There was a time when, standing between the bodies of Riko and Jean, she had thrived within the confines of the menacing persona that had been crafted for her. There were times, even still, when she knew her appearance alone ignited fear in others. As they entered the doors of the banquet hall, Natalie positioned on Riko’s left, her body wrapped in black velvet, she felt that same strength. Maybe it was anticipation of seeing Nathaniel that had made her nervous up until this point. Or maybe it was that she had already received her punishment for hiding the information and was temporarily safe as Riko refocused his attention onto a new target. Either way, in knowing she had nothing to fear for the next three hours, she was feeling jittery to the point of imprudence.

“No Foxes,” she noted as they entered the hall.

For a moment Riko said nothing. When he spoke it was low, harsh around the edges.

“Locker room.”

She nodded and turned on her heel, away from the rest of the Ravens, her heels clacking against the shiny wood of the court floor. The eyes on her felt familiar, comfortable, almost. She knew better than to engage with anyone currently raking their eyes over her, but recklessness thrummed through her bones. It felt a crime to stand on an exy court without the rush of the game drawing the wind from her chest. Natalie was twitchy as a result, her fist clenching and unclenching as she exited the room and started down the hall.

Natalie knew how Riko would want her. She’d spent so many years following precise directions to fulfill his whims, she could anticipate the power move he would try to play. She laid down along the bench, legs crossed at her ankles, facing up towards the tile ceiling. She stared up at the fluorescent lights hard enough that she was able to convince herself she was blinded. Her eyes fell closed as she sucked in the biggest breath she could manage, holding it tight in her chest until it burned. It would be a while yet until they arrived—she was sure of that.

 

* * *

Neil Josten was trapped, truly, and felt like a rat in a maze as he followed Riko through the halls towards the locker room. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do once they arrived, he wasn’t sure what he  _could_ do. But surely he would figure it out. He had to.

As they entered the room, Neil’s eyes flicked to a girl sprawled out along one of the players’ benches in the center of the room. Her eyes were closed, long black hair falling at her sides so that the ends touched the carpeted floor. She was taller than Neil, he could tell just from the space she took up she had a good two inches on him. When her eyes opened, he found the wide brown eyes of his mother staring back at him.

“A little surprised to see you alive, big brother.”

Neil nearly choked.

Everything holding him up threatened to give, and Neil felt his skin pale as fear pushed through his veins like slush.

Natalie. And the dozen other fake names they had shared flashed through his mind:  _Marie, Elizabeth, Alice._

She stared unimpressed at him, not moving to get up from where she lay on the bench. Only her head was turned towards him. She looked like a corpse—which matched what he had been thinking all these years.

“I believe you two already know each other.” Riko’s voice was silk, and with enough venom to match the deadly look Natalie had behind her eyes.

His mouth opened, lips moving over the question his throat wouldn’t allow him to get out.  _How?_

She smirked, but didn’t answer.

“You weren’t exaggerating when you said you were the smarter one,” Riko said to her. They exchanged a private smile, and Natalie turned back to look up at the ceiling.

“I know better than to embellish with you, Riko.”

He said something low in Japanese, in a ferocity that seemed to betray the easy conversation they’d been having in English. Whatever he said startled her into motion.

Natalie sat up, her eyes flicking to Riko’s for just a second before she crossed her legs and leaned forward. She fixed her gaze on Neil.

Riko took the moment to draw the attention back on himself. “Nathaniel, it’s been so long since a family reunion. Don’t you agree?”

It didn’t add up. Neil had gone a little mad with researching the Ravens after showdown with Riko on Kathy’s show. There were only two females on the Ravens team, and neither of them were the girl before him. Besides, the math didn’t add up. Natalie was supposed to be seventeen. She wasn’t old enough to be on a college team, and even if she’d managed that somehow, there was nothing about her anywhere—newspapers, Exy sites, recruiting information. But even with the hair dye, he knew it was her. She was the spitting image of their mother.

He did his best to keep his voice from shaking. “My name is Neil.”

Riko ignored this lie and continued speaking.

“Jean says Kevin did not know who you were. Natalie seems inclined to agree, and you have to realize I trust her words deeply. We are very…” he pretended to search for a word, “ _close,_ your sister and I. Anyway, I digress. Because, see what I’m really concerned with—what I  _really want to know_ —is exactly what it is you think you’re doing?”

Neil folded in on himself as best he could without giving himself away, his arms constricting tightly around his own chest. He had to stop himself from staring at Natalie, at the ghost of a sister he was convinced to be dead. He clenched his fists tight, nails biting into the flesh of his palm as a physical reminder not to look away from Riko.

“I didn’t know that our families were business partners. If I had, I wouldn’t have signed the contract-”

The last of Neil’s words were cut off as Riko pulled up close in front of him. He examined something in Neil’s face, radiating power in a way that scared the shit out of Neil. He hadn’t felt anything this terrifying in a long while.

“He’s lying,” Riko said to Natalie.

“I’m not.” He was desperate, his last will to survive coating his words as they clawed their way out his throat. “I’m only here for the year. I don’t want any more trouble for your family, or mine.”

“You were right,” he said, taking a step back. He held a hand out behind him for Natalie. She took it and stood, coming up close next to Riko to examine Neil. They were nearly the same height, the three of them. Those two inches between Neil and the two of them felt like it should have been a foot.

“I refused to believe you. Sure, I wouldn’t have put it past your mother. Her and her strange attempts to keep the two of you  _safe._ ” He spat the word like it offended him. “But, all those years on the run, surely he would’ve asked why.”

The look Neil gave Riko was incredulous.“Have you met my father?”

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand, Nathaniel,” Natalie replied harshly.

Neil took a step back in surprise at the venom that underlaid her words. But in the next moment, a door opened down the hall, and the sound of Matt’s voice flooded the empty hallway.

“You tell him,” Riko decided, giving her a small push forward between her shoulder blades. “I don’t have the patience to tolerate his stupidity.”

“You weren’t running for my father.” Natalie’s voice tickled his ear as she leaned in close. She smelled like blood and lavender. He couldn’t see her face but he could hear the mania that wrapped around her words. “You were running from his master.”

She stepped back just as Matt rounded the corner. He leveled a furious look at Riko and this mysterious girl and pressed a hand to Neil’s shoulder. “What’s going on here?”

Neil ignored him. “He didn’t have a master.” The words were meant for Natalie, but he looked at Riko as he said it.

Riko raised a finger to his own face and waited for Neil to piece it all together.

Neil knew, in that moment, that he wasn’t lying. There was nothing to be gained by it, and with Kevin who could so easily set everything straight, what would have been the point?

“I don’t believe you.” He couldn’t—he refused to—because if he did, it would be clear that he was in an even bigger mess than he possibly could have imagined for himself.

“Believe your sister then.”

“Sister?” Matt asked. Neil ignored him again.

“I don’t believe either of you.”

“His denial is even more infuriating,” Riko said to Natalie before turning his attention back on Neil. “You’ll clear it up with Kevin later, I’m sure. In the mean time, I will consider what to do with you. You will learn your place. Disrespect is not something I tolerate. Do you understand?”

He kept his eyes fixed on Riko. “I understand you are a complete asshole.”

Riko’s face was murderous as he stepped forward. But Natalie beat him to it, refusing to hesitate. She had a fist raised in an instant, almost as if her arm was attached to the step Riko took by a string.

Matt raised an arm between Neil and his sister, holding his wide fist over her small one. He shoved her back a bit, hand still attached to her arm, and spoke to Riko.

“Leave my team alone, Riko. You pick another fight tonight and we’ll be sure the ERC suspends you.” Matt’s eyes flicked back to Natalie’s before dropping her fist. It fell to her side lifelessly. “That goes for your teammates, too.”

He ignored Matt, instead pushing Natalie forward again so she was by her brother’s side.

“You’ll come to him, in time,” she whispered. “ _Begging_ for forgiveness.” She swallowed audibly, the only indication she was as nervous as he was. “He’ll take pleasure in denying you.”

Riko grabbed at her wrist and yanked her towards the door. Neither bothered to look back as they exited, but Matt kept his hand raised protectively in front of Neil until the door slammed closed and the sound of Natalie’s heels faded.

Matt turned his attention on Neil. “Neil?”

Neil heard all of his questions compiled into that one word—into that fake name he’d created for himself.

“Should I be disappointed?” he asked.

“Disappointed?” Matt echoed.

“That Riko doesn’t like me much? Such a big exy star and all that. I doubt this was the attention Kevin was referring to.”

“Christ, Neil. Coach is going to kill you.”

_Yes. Well, he isn’t the only one._


	2. Chapter 2

When Natalie was a child on the run with her mother and brother, Nathaniel used to tell her stories about how they would play Exy together one day. She was too young to understand that she’d barely gotten anytime to play the sport her brother was obsessed with. Too young to realize that those few moments she spent chasing rubber balls across a linoleum floor, Neil got in ten-fold. She was too young, really, to be jealous. To Natalie, Exy was an activity, it wasn’t her whole life the way it had been with Neil. Still, she ate up every scrap of detail Neil would feed her about playing with Kevin Day and Riko Moriyama.

“How fast?” she begged, clutching the sleeve of his shirt.

“Faster than anything you’ve ever seen.”

They were whispering in the back of the car, the dark countryside of some random European city passing in a blur. If their mother heard them talking about Exy again she’d box their ears a lot harder than her last warning. Natalie looked nervously to the rearview mirror and could see her mothers lips were still moving, muttering to herself, as she listened along to the local news stations.

“What’ll it be like? When we’re there together?” It was like a magic word, holding them together. “Court.”

He smiled, but she could see the edges of it were sad. She couldn’t yet understand why he always got sad when he told her these stories.

“We’ll be unstoppable. And I’ll always be there, as a backliner to back up the best female striker in the league.”

“The best striker in the league,” Natalie amended with a giggle.

“You’ll have to beat out Day and Moriyama before that happens.”

Her smile was wide, and too innocent to be vicious even though she bore her teeth.

“Easy.”

The memory came like a reflection in a foggy mirror. Too close to avoid, but too far away to see clearly, covered in a residue of some emotion she couldn’t quite identify.

The first thing she realized was the cold floor pressed against her bare shoulders. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, desperately trying to cling to the last of the memory.

A hand was slapping her cheek. Her ears were filled with cotton. She wasn’t naked, but she didn’t have much on. A pair of thin jeans, all ripped up and ruined, and a thin shredded tank top. A shiver went through her body—the tiles underneath her were wet—and every muscle twitched in pain to the involuntary action.

A groan escaped her mouth, rough and raw as it slipped out of broken, bloody lips. She tried to make a mental assessment of the damage her body was in, but quickly found she didn’t care. She wanted to go back to sleep.

Another sharp slap to her cheek, and she was groaning again.

“Fuck alone,” she managed to get out, the rest of the sentence lost in her throat.

A fingertip pushed into the other side of her cheek and a deeper whine escaped as she moved away from the hand. The pain was dull, and for a moment she was nervous. Riko hardly ever bothered with her face. Besides the occasionally broken nose or broken eyes socket that could be chalked up to rough practice, he didn’t mark her face. A deep bruise, she decided without examining it. But she didn’t remember getting it.

She opened her eyes.

Jean.

“Asshole,” she greeted. 

He kept his bemused expression on her, not saying a word as he continued leaning over her.

“Recap,” she asked in French, her eyes falling close again. Her headache was killer, she could barely concentrate on keeping her eyes open. 

“Want the details?”

Her answer to this question usually correlated with how physically her body had been hurt. She didn’t always want the details. Somethings were better forgotten.

“Oui,” she bit out sarcastically.

“Hydrate,” he ordered, handing her a water bottle.

She was truly thirsty, and brought the bottle to her lips immediately. It was messy as she placed all of her weight on her left elbow, some of the water splashing across the front of her shirt.

“Go,” she urged him before laying back down.

“It started as it usually does,” he began.

She cut him off right away.

“I said details, Jean.”

He swallowed.

“He waited until the other girls were out of the locker room, but didn’t bother waiting for you to go to your room.”

She closed her eyes again. It was easier to piece together in her mind when she didn’t have Jean staring down at her.

They were beyond pity, but he cared in his own way. It was too much for Natalie to bear in moments like this.

“It was quick, in the locker room. A long slice down your back and you were on your knees. You were smart enough not to fight back this time.”

“Sometimes I surprise even myself,” she muttered. “Continue.”

“He didn’t tell me what we were doing. It was a regular Tuesday night, so I didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary. He struck at you with your Exy stick—“

“Saying?”

“The usual. You are a waste of his time. Talentless, not worth the trouble. Mostly it was aimed at practice.” Jean leveled a knowing look on her. “You were too fast and you know it. You had to expect something,” he chided.

“Worth it,” Natalie said. Her calves had burned with how quickly she’d been speeding around the court, it was worth the silent fury Riko threw her way every time she whizzed by. Especially if she didn’t remember the punishment.

She smiled grimly. Her cheek twitched at the motion, a strange itchy throbbing, and she brought her hand to her face in an attempt to soothe it.

Jean caught her arm before she could make contact.

“Leave it.”

“Anything else in the locker room?”

The flashes in her mind were matching this perfectly so far, but her memory was still muddy—still covered in the residue from her dream.

“Endurance drills. Nearly blew your left ankle out.”

Natalie gave her left foot a small movement. Sure enough searing pain along the top of her ankle flashed up through her kneecap.

“Fuck. I’m out for two days at least.”

It was meant as sort of a joke. There was no ‘out’ in the Nest there was there and there was gone. When Jean didn’t laugh she opened her eyes again.

Practice, pain and punishment, then private practice with Riko. It all sounded typical. She looked around the room suddenly, realizing that it was way too white to be anywhere in the Nest.

“Where are we?”

“I’m getting to that. You should have some more water first.”

He handed her the half empty water bottle and waited for her to take a sip before he continued.

“After you injured yourself, Riko really let you have it. Can you feel any of them?”

She could, around her ankle, where his grip had crushed her already worn tendons. Her shoulder too, likely in a vain attempt to shield herself from more blows.

“Pulled your shoulder nearly out of your socket,” Jean commented. “Asked if you were attached to it.”

“Ah, so he was in a playful mood.”

Jean didn’t say it was bad, because that much was fucking obvious.

“We went to the club after that.”

At this, Natalie opened her eyes to look at him, to make sure he wasn’t screwing with her.

“On a Tuesday?”

Jean nodded.

Her clever retort was trapped behind surprise. Riko never interrupted his schedule. He wouldn’t chance pulling the stunts he did without the right people around him.

It explained her lapse in memory. He was always feeding her some shit or another when they were there.

“Did anyone-”

He saved her from having to finish the question. God it had happened so many times, Riko pushing her towards this person or that, and just waiting, just watching.

“Not yesterday, no.”

“And today?” It had to be asked.

“No.”

“And you?”

“No. Not me, either.”

“So, what? He got us drunk and sent us home?”

It didn’t make any sense. He was still raw from his confrontation with Neil, still hadn’t come up with his version of a solution. And Natalie knew it wasn’t just the Neil thing, it wasn’t just the sibling thing. Riko was still looking for a way to bring Kevin back under his thumb. Why would he bother going through all of that last night if there wasn’t anything to celebrate? Riko was a lot of things, but unfocused was not one of them. He didn’t stop until he had a plan, and the club was for after those plans had been decided.

“Jean?” She looked at him suddenly. He seemed very far away. Her hands felt a little fuzzy. “Where are we?”

His mouth was a hard line. He didn’t say apologize, they hardly ever did anymore.

“The bus terminal.”

“The bus terminal,” she echoed. She looked around, at the lone sink behind her, at the locked door. “What are we doing here?”

“He thinks you need some bonding time.”

Natalie felt anxiety wash over her like a bucket of ice. “Who needs bonding time,” she managed to grind out.

She was losing her faculties. She tried to stand up, but the pain in her body combined with her sudden clumsiness had her barely pushing herself off the floor.

“You can’t come back to the Nest.”

“Can’t come back,” she repeated again. Her tongue felt fat around the words. “He can’t.” She could hear desperation in her words. “No, no, no. Jean, no.”

She hated it, the fear in her own voice. It had been long since Riko had been the one to put it there. She’d endured everything, so much, and this? This was what was putting her over the edge?

“Jean take me back. I’ll talk to Riko. I’ll convince him of something else. I can’t.” Her voice broke off. Her head was swimming. She felt drunk but knew she wasn’t.

She looked down at the crinkled water bottle in her hands and felt her eyes prick with hot tears.

“You didn’t,” she whispered. She used the last of her strength to throw the water bottle at the wall. The cap made a dull sound as it bounced off the floor a few inches away.

“I knew you wouldn’t go, otherwise.”

She refused to cry, but god did she want to. It had been a long time since Jean had tricked drugs into her system. It was the worst betrayal, worse than the things they’d done to one another in the weeks after Kevin left.

“I can’t survive outside of the Nest.”

“He won’t send them after you. You’re protected by the Moriyamas. Your father’s people aren’t after you anymore,” he reminded her.

But the words weren’t getting through, and they weren’t the right ones. “I can’t go to him. Nathaniel won’t—” She swallowed, and it felt like she was trying to put down cotton balls. “He won’t—”

“You can come back, just not with me now. Not tonight. Riko will tell you when. But we have to go, Natalie. We need to get you on the bus.”

“No!” She tried to shout but it was useless over the roaring in her ears.

“You know better than to make this difficult.”

She swung an arm out towards him, but it had been so long since she’d last made an attempt to escape, she was crap at it. On her second missed swing, darkness surrounded her.

A loud clap in front of her face woke her up, and she pried open her sleep crusted eyes.

A tall woman with severe orange hair tucked behind a blue conductors hat stood looming over her.

“Last stop kid.”

“Stop?” she asked, checking her surroundings. Her neck was stiff, her head pounding.

“Univesity express,” the woman commented. She seemed slightly amused by Natalie’s behavior, used to finding teens half awake in the back of her bus. “This would be the university, sweet cheeks."

Natalie looked out the window to her right. It was dark outside so there wasn’t much to see, but the light from the bus illuminated her image almost perfectly against the window. All the air went from her chest when she saw what was emblazoned on her right cheekbone.

“Shit.”

Her fingers went out to examine the edges of the tattoo: a thick, black four. It was a deal she had struck with Riko, to wait to be branded with a number. A deal he had no qualms about breaking given the circumstances. That deal had been her last act as a semi-free girl.

“Fuck,” she whispered, close to tears again.

“I’d say so,” the woman agreed. She put her hands on her hips. “I’m sure your people will have a bit to say about that. Fresh ink by the looks of it.”

Natalie ripped her eyes away from her reflection, but kept her hand cupping the tattoo. Her travel duffel was on the seat next to her, the bright crimson raven logo glaring back at her mockingly.

“Thanks,” she muttered, eager to have the woman leave her alone.

She stalked off with a small laugh. “You’ve got two minutes or I take off with you still on here.”

“Bitch,” Natalie managed under her breath.

Her phone buzzed in her pants pocket as she stood. Three messages were waiting for her.

 

Text message. Jean #3

New ID in front pocket of duffel. Drink the water, it’s sealed this time.

 

Text message. Jean #3

Call Day.

 

Text message. King.

You have two weeks.

 

“Fucking perfect.”

She stood on wobbly legs and hopped off the bus.

The bus driver wasn’t exaggerating with what she had said, she was peeling out of the parking lot the moment Natalie got off the final step.

She pulled the water out, examined the safety seal and then gulped the entire thing down. It did nothing to stop the burning of her throat. She chugged the other one before digging for her new ID card.

“Sick bastard,” she muttered as she examined it.

Under her photo read the name Alice Josten.

It was a quick dial, but Kevin didn’t pick up on the first ring. She cursed him out on his voicemail and then called him again immediately, repeating the process until she finally got an answer.

“Hello?”

“Surprise, I’m at Palmetto.” Her voice was flat. She looked around at the random buildings around her. The air was thick, hot. God what torture South Carolina already was. Her hair stuck to the back of her neck.

“What?”

“Day. Are you deaf? I’m at Palmetto State. I need you to pick me up.”

“This is a joke.”

“You’re telling me. This place is a shithole.” She let out a sharp sigh. “I was kicked out, ok? Riko kicked me out the Nest. I don’t have anywhere to go, and I won’t beg. Now will you pick me up or not?”

“I-” Kevin stuttered as he tried to come up with a response.

“I’m at the University station bus stop,” she said before hanging up.

“I am so beyond fucked,” she decided, sitting on the curb. She took off her shoe, rubbed at her throbbing ankle—it really was fucked up, all swollen and sore—and decided on her next plan of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next is Neil!


	3. Chapter 3

The knock at Neil’s door was sharp. He had been jumpier than usual to begin with, but it seemed like every loud sound was sending him over the edge ever since his meeting with Natalie and Riko at the banquet. He was going to lose his mind before his father’s people even had time to find him. 

“I got it,” he said to Matt, jumping up from his spot on the floor almost immediately. 

Dan and Matt were watching a movie, bodies intwined on the couch. They paused the film, but didn’t bother to move. 

It was early for practice, only 9:15. But Neil knew when he saw Kevin’s face that he better follow him wherever he was going. 

“Get your shoes. We’re going for a drive.” 

“Everything good, Day?” Matt asked from the couch. 

Kevin ignored him. “Meet us in the parking lot.” 

Neil scrambled for his shoes and keys before saying a hasty goodbye. 

He’d just started to breathe deeply around Kevin, and he would be lying if he said he had been expecting Kevin to keep quiet about what he’d discovered. They’d not yet had a chance to debrief, but Neil had figured that wouldn’t happen with Andrew at his side. 

Kevin was already in the passengers when he stepped outside. Andrew was leaned against the hood of the car smoking a cigarette. 

“He insisted you come with us,” Andrew said as Neil came closer. “Kevin is particularly _needy_ tonight. It’s unbearable.” 

“Surprised you listened to him.” 

Andrew considered it for a moment. “Entertained him is more like it.” 

He crushed his cigarette butt under his boot. 

“Let’s go. There’s a bird that’s lost it’s way home.” 

Neil’s body hesitated before pulling open the car door. 

Andrew peeled out of the parking lot and maneuvered the wheel of his expensive vehicle quickly and expertly. The engine roared as he pressed harder on the gas pedal. 

“Remind me why we are driving to pick up a raven who is most likely trying to have you murdered?” Andrew asked. 

He was still jittery from his drugs, and his inability to stay silent was indication of that. 

“She isn’t a threat. Not to me anyway.” 

“That’s not a reason.” 

“I owe her.” 

“Still not a reason.” He sounded more amused than anything. 

The bus stop was off the highway. A shuttle ran during the day to the center of campus, but seeing as it was past 9, there was no way the shuttle was running. Neil spent the short ride dreading who they would find waiting there. Kevin hadn’t said it overtly, but there was really only one reason he would be included on this trip. 

As they pulled up, Neil felt vomit raise up in this throat. 

Natalie was sitting on the curb, holding a cell phone up in the air as though she were searching for reception when they pulled up in Andrew’s car. She looked a complete wreck, makeup smeared down one side of her face and hair in knots. Her clothing was tattered and even the dark, Neil could see her injuries clearly. A mix of bruises and gashes up and down her exposed skin. Andrew hopped out first, cutting the engine as he opened his door. 

Neil came around the other side of the car. His feet felt as though they were filled with lead, steps heavy as he moved closer. His entire body was screaming at him to go the opposite direction. 

"You fucking idiot,” she said, jumping up from her spot when she spotted Neil. “You just had to go on national television to start a pissing match." 

Andrew quirked his head slightly to the side. "Neil, you've got a new admirer. Care to explain?” 

Neil's smirk was painted across the girl’s face. It contorted the thick 4 tattooed on her cheekbone. Neil had no words under the scrutiny of her brown-eyed glare, but Kevin was speechless for an entirely different reason. He took a step back and touched his own cheek with his fingertips. 

"This is Neil's sister,” he whispered. 

Neil couldn’t help but watch Andrew for his reaction. To hear it, out in the open, was so jolting Neil felt the back of his knees sear with terror. Andrew clearly didn’t expect it, even if his face was expressionless. 

“Alice Josten,” she said. Her eyes were trained on Andrew. Amusement colored her face as she continued to speak. “I’d say it was nice to meet you, but let’s not fuck around here. There’s a reason guard dogs exist and it’s not for fucking conversation.” 

“Funny thing, that Kevin didn’t mention this until right now,” Andrew said evenly. 

“Is it?” Natalie asked, tilting her head to one side. “You’ll learn soon that he’s a coward.” 

“What are you doing here, Alice?” The name was unfamiliar on Kevin’s lips, even Neil could see it. 

“Didn’t I already mention I didn’t want to repeat myself?” She let out a long sigh. “Riko kicked me out. I need a place to lie low for a while until I figure out how to deal with that small hiccup. Since I don’t know a person outside of the Ravens, it seemed like PSU was a safe bet.” She looked around. “I doubt anyone comes to this sinkhole of a school unless they absolutely need to.” 

“Touching story,” Andrew said. 

“I already made it clear I won’t beg. Help me out or not, but a decision would be great. If it’s a no, then I’m off to try my luck cross-country. I’m sure Neil still has all kinds of contacts I could use for some fake information.” 

Neil did his best not to shudder visibly at her implication. She could unravel the entire truth out for him in a single sentence if he wanted to, his name and all. 

“You won’t have Riko’s protection if you run,” Kevin said quickly. Natalie let out a low groan of annoyance. Neil imagined from her reaction it was a conversation they had had before. 

“Fucking obviously, Day.” 

“Wymack,” Kevin said to Andrew. 

“Good luck,” Andrew told her, ignoring Kevin as he walked back around the car. 

“Andrew, we made a deal,” Kevin called out after him. 

Andrew got inside the car. 

Kevin pulled open the passengers door and slammed it shut as he got in. 

“Lover’s quarrel?” Natalie asked Neil as Kevin started into Andrew. 

Neil just stared back at her, barely able to keep the breath in his chest. She looked so much like Mary it was jolting. Taller than her, sure, but with the same ferocity in her eyes. He half expected her to box his ears. 

“Silent treatment from the kid with the biggest mouth. That’s surprising,” she commented. “You used to get in trouble for it. Did the punishment finally stick for you?” 

Kevin rolled down the window. “Get in.” 

Natalie picked up her duffel and slid in behind Kevin, leaving Neil to walk around the front of the car. He intentionally avoided Andrew’s eyes as he walked by, but he couldn’t ignore them once he was in the back. Andrew had an impossible expression as he stared at Neil through the rearview mirror. 

He broke eye contact to pull off the shoulder of the road, weaving expertly back into traffic. They were at Wymack’s in a matter of minutes. Andrew directed Natalie through the building until they were standing in front of Wymack’s door. 

He reached around her to knock sharply, and waited for the lock to sound on the other side before resting a hand between her shoulder blades. 

Andrew pushed Natalie so harshly through the threshold of Wymack’s apartment as the door opened she had to grip along Wymack’s wall for support. There was a patch of red from where the blood on her shirt smeared the pristine cream colored paint. 

“Fucking hell, Minyard,” Coach let out as he stepped back. 

“Neil’s got a sister,” Andrew announced as he walked into the apartment behind her, Kevin following close behind him. “And she’s a raven.” 

Neil closed the door to the apartment quietly and stood as far removed from everyone as he could without appearing too obvious. Worlds were colliding in ways he neither cared for nor anticipated. 

Wymack let out a deep sigh. “Do I even have to ask where those injuries are from?” 

“Riko’s got a penchant for knives,” Natalie said with a smooth curl of her lips. 

Wymack squinted at her, attempting to examine something. He was in a wifebeater, tribal tattoos blazing along his exposed arms. This was not unlike the look he had been sporting when he’d approached Neil back in Millport. 

Neil allowed himself one solitary moment of self-hatred for ever joining that team. What a world of pain he was in for as a result of that choice. 

Natalie pushed herself off the wall and looked around Wymack’s apartment. Her moves were careful, and she did her best to keep her footing loose in case someone started some trouble. 

Neil could feel the discomfort humming from under her bones. Although, maybe he was imagining it. It had been years since they’d occupied the same space. And their brief meeting did nothing to change that. 

“C’mon Coach,” she said mockingly as she entered his living room. “Gimme some pity. Offer me a spot on your team for fuckups and sob stories.” She laughed to herself before turning on her heel to face them. “God of all places to bring me, Day. This is your bright idea?” 

“What is she doing here?” Wymack asked. 

“Riko kicked her out of the Nest. She’ll need a place to lie low for a while,” Kevin said. 

“And beyond that?” 

“I’ll try my best at running. If not, I trust you all with a disposal plan. Especially with that one’s past,” Natalie pointed at Andrew. 

“Kill first plan later,” Andrew said with a wide menacing smile. 

“I like his style,” Natalie decided. It sounded more like a threat than an admission of admiration, and Neil felt tension crackle between the two of them like lightening. 

For years, she’d lived without him. All of her growing up had happened away from him. She could be an entirely different person now than she was then. In all likelihood she was. 

Kevin seemed remarkably unmoved by her mouth. If anything it solidified the grim expression on his face. 

“I thought Riko would have…” Kevin swallowed and shot a glance at Neil quickly. “Dealt with you by now.” 

“Just as naive as always, Kev. This _is_ him dealing with me.” 

“Coach.” Kevin couldn’t bring himself to say anything beyond that. 

“Fucking hell, Kevin.” Wymack brought his hand down his face, rubbing at his jaw. 

“You’ve already got one Josten, what’s one more lie?” Natalie asked. 

Neil’s eyes flicked to Andrew who was already staring at him hard. He could almost feel Andrew’s urge to come closer to him, to look him in his eyes that same way he had after Columbia, after Neil had given him his half-truth. Instead he was watching from afar, waiting for someone to slip up. He could feel his story coming apart at the seams with each moment Natalie was around them. 

He wondered what she’d told Riko, what she’d said to spare herself, if anything at all. 

“You have his tattoo on your face. It will be hard to keep a low profile…” Wymack started. 

“He doesn’t want her to keep a low profile.” Kevin said. 

She rolled her eyes and fell in a huff onto the couch. “Obviously.” 

“Don’t worry about making yourself comfortable,” Andrew said. “You won’t be staying long.” 

“She can’t go back. He’ll kill her.” 

“Oh, boy!” She rubbed her hands together quickly in faux anticipation. “You really promise this time?” 

“I was under the mistaken impression you wanted to stay alive,” Andrew threw at Kevin. 

“I’m not in any more danger with her here.” 

“Stupid indeed,” Natalie said conspiratorially with a wink to Andrew. “Don’t forget about big brother. Riko’s after him too now. Far to much to keep track of, even for you.”

“We need her on the team.” Kevin decided. 

Natalie started laughing immediately, and Neil felt his body rush with cold anticipation. 

“Typical Kevin Day. Only worth his time if you can swing a stick and run around a court,” Natalie said gleeful. “Is he usually this awful with you guys too?” 

“Kevin,” Wymack started carefully. “I need you to think about how this is affecting the team. Helping her lie low is one thing, but putting her on the team?” 

Worse words could not have been uttered to Kevin Day. Almost immediately Andrew turned squarely at Wymack. Natalie continued giggling even as Kevin spoke. 

“The team is the only thing I’m considering right now. At the end of the day, our team is too small to sustain. She has training, real Raven training, and talent. She could run circles around our team. Even me.” 

“Especially with that hand,” she said with mock sympathy, shaking her head and clicking her tongue. 

“Riko will be pissed.” Neil felt inclined to point out. 

“Big brother speaks!” 

“He expects us to kill her or hide her. This would be a PR nightmare,” Kevin said. 

“Careful Kevin, someone might think you’ve grown a pair when you talk like that.” 

“It would also set Neil’s trail on high alert,” Andrew reminded him. 

Natalie let her head fall back on the couch. 

“You people really are amateurs. He doesn’t want that yet. He still wants to fuck with Neil. And fuck with your team for that matter. Besides how are you sure this wasn’t his plan all along? For me to infiltrate the team and bring it down from the inside? You’d really be better off just cutting off the small rope Riko is dangling in front of you. I’m obvious bait. Let’s all just be done with this. Pick a good spot for the body and let’s get down to it."

Andrew stared her down, and she didn’t for a moment flinch. 

“He doesn’t have enough respect for the foxes to think we are a threat. He doesn’t think he needs to bring us down. He’d rather watch us embarrass ourselves in front of him.” Neil said. 

“Shh..hush now, Neil. Don’t speak about things you don’t understand.” 

“He’s right,” Kevin said. It was a small plea, and not all that convincing, but it works. 

Despite the expression on Wymack’s face he made his decision only a moment later.

“We won’t be killing anyone.” 

“Speak for yourself, coach,” Andrew chimed in. 

“And we won’t be offering her a spot on the team, either,” he continued. “If we need her like Kevin says we do then she’ll have to prove it. For now, we’ll see if she...meshes well with the others.” 

“Eh, not really in my skill set.” 

“She’ll fit about as well as the other foxes,” Kevin said. 

“She’s not staying at the dorms.” Andrew said cooly. “She can stay with Abby.” 

“Abby doesn’t need to be brought into this.” 

Natalie was quick to pounce. “Girlfriend of yours?” 

Wymack ignored her. “Whatever is going on with the four of you better not affect my team.” 

“It’s exy,” she said. “Of course it will affect your team. You should have known that when you took this one in.” 

She pointed right at Kevin and smiled again. “Bet you’re regretting that just about now.” 

“She’ll stay with me,” Wymack said, ignoring her once more. 

Kevin leaned in a little closer to Wymack and spoke lowly. “It’ll be a hard adjustment away from the Nest. They run on 16 hour days, so her sleep patterns might be strange. I’d remove sharp objects if you can-”

“I’m not going to off myself, Day,” she yelled lazily from the couch. Her eyes were closed, hands behind her head. “Besides I’m more off a ‘jump off a roof’ than a ‘slit her wrist’ type a gal. Maybe a noose depending on the day. You should _know_ that already.” 

“Go,” Wymack said impatiently, corralling them towards the door. “If nothing else, I know how to handle this. And the three of you are pissing me off hovering here.”

It was Andrew that slammed the door behind them so loudly that it shook in the frame. And Andrew who turned the music up so loud in the car it was difficult to hear one’s own thoughts.The drive back was silent, which no one seemed particularly opposed to. But the closer they got to campus, the more Neil’s mind started racing. 

He wished he could talk to her privately. Even if she didn’t tell him anything about what she was doing here, she could at least explain why she was at the Nest, or give him some insight to how she was alive. 

He hated thinking it, but having her alive was a liability for his own survival. She knew too much about who he really was. More than Kevin, more than anyone really. And she’d spent the last five years with the person who currently had Neil in his crosshairs. 

He was more fucked than he thought it was possible to be this early in the year. 

Andrew cut the engine and Kevin hopped out immediately. Neil made eye contact with Andrew in the rearview mirror before exiting the car and heading towards the dorm. Andrew hardly seemed in the mood for a chat today. 

As they entered the stairwell, he pushed hard at Neil’s shoulder. 

“A sister wasn’t a part of your story.” 

Neil turned around immediately, ready to defend himself. 

“I didn’t—” Neil didn’t have words. She was alive. She was _alive and here_. “I didn’t know.” 

“Don’t lie to me, Josten.” Neil could see Andrew’s last thread of patience snap. 

“I’m not,” he said. The words were a struggle to get out, caught in his throat on conflicting feelings of fear and disappointment. “My mother told me she was dead. I don’t know how she’s alive. Let alone how she’s with the Ravens.” 

“You understand that this makes me question everything you’ve told me, right? That your sister is _living_ in the Nest. Hanging off of Riko’s arm?” 

“I don’t know anything about it.” 

“And now she’s _here_ , fucking with Kevin’s head.” 

Neil knew how it looked to Andrew. All the past accusations were coming back to him. Neil as a mole for Riko was looking further away from a crazy assumption than Neil had convinced him of. 

“I swear, Andrew. I thought she was dead until last week. Riko introduced us in the locker room of the dance.” 

“And you waited until now to say anything.” 

“I didn’t think he would send her here,” Neil said exasperatedly. “I figured I’d be able to handle it the next time I saw her. I didn’t expect her to show up here of all places, and without him.” 

Andrew turned his back on Neil and started up the stairs. 

“Stay out of my sight,” he threw over his shoulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew's up next, and Natalie meets the Foxes


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Wymack have a chat.

The phone rang three times before Wymack picked up with a rough sigh. “What,” he grunted. 

“Checking your still alive,” Andrew purred derisively. He dug his spoon into a cartoon of ice cream and savored the slick residue of sugar on his tongue when he took another bite. He was stationed at the window sill, cigarettes next to his hip for when he finished the ice cream. It was a night for vices, it seemed. 

“My voice proof enough for you?” 

“You should go to your office,” Andrew said after a moment. “We need to talk about the Josten girl.” 

“I am in my office.” 

“And the doors shut?” 

“You’re paranoid.” 

“Oh, coach. You say that like it’s new.”

“Fine,” he muttered. Andrew could hear him move to shut his office door. 

“Not your usual stray,” Andrew tutted as soon as Wymack settled back into his chair. “Shouldn’t have let her in the house.” 

“Why are you bothering me?” 

“Usual Josten bullshit,” Andrew said. It wasn’t a direct answer to the question, but he knew Wymack wouldn’t mind. 

“You should really send her right back when no one is looking. Terrible idea, taking in another one.” 

“You think they’re even a little bit the same?” Wymack seemed mildly amused by the thought. 

Andrew didn’t like that question, so he volleyed a return one. 

“Does you desire to take in helpless strays really supersede your ability to keep danger away from the team?” 

Wymack let out an impatient huff. “I’m not in the mood for your shit, Minyard.” 

“If you’re going to keep her, you should at least hide the knives.” 

He conceded on that point. “I’m not sure she’s bluffing about the suicide.” 

“Not my concern.” 

“Surprised you are concerned at all.” 

It was enough of a crossed line that Andrew felt the need to address it. Despite all outside appearances, Andrew needed Wymack if he was going to keep Kevin here and happy. He gave a simple warning, out of courtesy. 

“Stay in your pay grade, coach.” 

Andrew could hear Wymack rub his hand down his face. “Is there an actual reason you called?” 

“What are you planning to do with her, exactly?” 

“Well, right now she’s holed herself up in the living room flipping through the television channels, too jittery to settle on anything far as I can tell. She won’t eat, won’t talk. And every so often she gets up to pace the living room. Looking for weak spots, I’m sure of it. She’s a fucking mess, less trusting than Neil and more twitchy than you. Other than the pacing, she refuses to move. Won’t shower or step away from her duffel bag. ” 

“The Josten’s have a strong commitment to their baggage, apparently,” Andrew said, recalling Neil’s obsession over keeping his own bag safe. He wondered, not for the first time, exactly how many similarities the two siblings had. 

Andrew thought of himself and Aaron for only a moment before regretting it. Blood meant nothing, he knew that. And family, even less. 

“I’m more than a little surprised you aren’t here to loom over her.” 

“There’s enough going on here to keep me interested for now.” 

Kevin, mostly, who was a fucking mess. He’d only recently reached the calm point of drunk Kevin that had him passed out on a beanbag chair. But as soon as he woke up, it would be another round of twenty question that Kevin refused to answer. The connection between Kevin and the girl was still unclear, and Kevin was saying nothing that allowed Andrew to make better sense of it. 

Josten was shook as well, though he showed it by hiding himself away in his room to hyperventilate. 

“This was a mistake on your part, you know.” 

“Noted,” Wymack said dryly. “I don’t need to remind you of my philosophy about this team.” 

“She isn’t a part of the team.” 

“She’s a part of Neil.” 

It was so ridiculously sugary it was nauseating, especially the easy way it came from his mouth. 

“Bring her tomorrow, since I know you were planning to anyway. But she shouldn’t play.” 

“She’s not ready.” Wymack paused, and Andrew could tell he was listening for something. It was another moment before Wymack finished his thought. “Though it’s clearly driving her nuts to be locked in such a little space.” 

“If she’s anything like Kevin or the other Ravens, she’s probably induced withdrawal from the lack of balls through to her helmet.” 

He didn’t let Wymack get another word in. “Keep her locked in the office.” 

“The others deserve to know,” Wymack protested. 

Andrew hung up. He’d given clear instructions, but he was sure Wymack was going to introduce her to the team. It would mean absolute shit for everyone, but that might actually be exciting for once. Andrew conceded on his original stance. If she was half as grating to the team as she was at Wymack’s apartment, the foxes would dispose of her for him. And it would be entertaining as hell to watch.


	5. Chapter 5

Pathetic, Natalie thought as she glanced at the clock on the wall. It was barely 11:15. 

Already she was exhausted. It was strange—if she were in the Nest, she’d been all stitched up by Jean at this time, freshly scrubbed clean and in her bed. 

Natalie could hear the rough murmurs of Wymack's phone conversation even through the closed door. His feet were padding back and forth across the carpet of his office. Every so often, the shadows of his legs would block the light coming from underneath the door. 

Keeping a close watch over him only entertained Natalie for so long. She turned her attention back to the TV and continued flipping through channels, pressing fiercely on the buttons of the remote. It was a mindless game she was playing. Each new channel she stumbled upon she focused in on the first word she heard through the speakers and translated it into as many different languages as she could. When she'd cycled through her various vocabularies, she would change to a new channel. She played through this cycle with twenty-two different words before Wymack opened the door to his office and emerged. 

He let out a sharp sigh before walking through the threshold into the living room and towards her. Wymack snuck into one of the rooms of the hallway and came back a minute later with a heap of blankets and a pillow. 

“Anything in the fridge is yours.” His voice was gruff. 

“You’re really just going to let me stay here?” Her tone was indignant, but she was curious as to how he might respond. 

“Bathroom is off to the left.” 

“Will I go to practice tomorrow?” she asked. She couldn't help herself. The desperation that came out of her mouth was palpable, and she hated it. But it was the one question she actually cared about having an answer to. 

He looked at her silently for a moment before answering. “I haven’t decided yet.” 

As much as she wanted to deny the spike of hope that rushed through her, she couldn't. The best alternative was the spread a sneer on her face and shake her head. 

"They weren't kidding when they said you have a savior complex." 

Wymack grumbled something under his breath and headed towards his bedroom. Natalie, considering that to be the end of their conversation, moved to craft a small nest for herself on the couch. 

"Here." He passed on a plain white t-shirt and a pair of bright orange exy shorts to her, extending his arm over the back of the couch. "You'll need something to sleep in. Shower and get some rest." 

He didn't wait for her response, dropping the clothes onto the couch before locking himself back in his office. Natalie looked down at her clothes. Skintight black jeans and a plain black tank top. They were cut up, streaked with blood and dripping with sweat. 

She took the clothes Wymacks offered without a word and locked herself in the bathroom. It took longer than she would have liked to undress--everything was sticky, and her body was too sore--wounds reopening as she maneuvered this way or that. 

The only towel in sight was a small scratchy hand towel, but Natalie jumped in the shower anyway, bringing her clothes with her to run under the water. 

Blood streaked down the ceramic tub. Scalding--that was how she liked her water. And as much as it stung her skin, she didn't alter the temperature one time. Natalie proceeded to scrub viciously at her skin, tugging at the lesions and bruises in a desperate attempt to wash all remnants of the last 24 hours away. When the stinging faded, and the last bits of water rolling off her ran clear, she tugged roughly at the faucet and stepped out of the shower. 

The towel was small and scratchy, and the clothing was too big. It smelled of laundry detergent and stale cigarettes. Natalie sat on the toilet, staring at the dingy carpet under her feet before letting out a shuttering breath. 

Some people might feel better--being away from Riko, having freedom away from a rigid existence. But Natalie couldn't stop the anxiety rising up her chest and past her throat. She took a few uneven labored breaths before standing. 

Wymack's couch was comfortable, she had to admit this as she curled up. It was easy to let her body sink into the warmth she was immersed in, despite missing the sharp presence of Jean at her side. 

Maybe it was that he saw his young sister in her, or she saw her older brother in him, but it hadn't taken long for them to try to shape comfort in one another. Their navigations became complicated with each new fantasy Riko played out --until even their comfort in one another was used against them. 

She shuttered, pulling the blankets tight over her head. If she quieted her breathing and stayed calm, she could almost convince herself she wouldn't be dragged out of bed, put on display. 

The feeling of waiting for the other foot to drop--for Riko to come barging in--didn't leave her once the entire night. She slept for ten or fifteen minutes at a time, waking up to survey the apartment before trying to fall back asleep, only to repeat the process again. 

At 4:30am Wymack emerged from his bedroom and into his office. Half an hour later he moved into the kitchen to begin brewing coffee and preparing breakfast. The smell of the eggs frying on the pan had Natalie's stomach doing flips in anticipation. 

She shifted minutely against the cushions but didn’t make direct eye contact. She was watching him in her peripheral, her muscles carefully tensed if necessary. It was a wonder on how long it would take for Wymack to address her, but she was betting he wouldn't try until absolutely necessary. 

After he set down his plate of food and a big mug of coffee on the island of his kitchen, he took a moment to pour another cup of coffee and shovel some eggs on another plate. He placed these things as close to Natalie as the counter would allow--right at the edge so it seemed it would almost teeter off--before sitting down to eat and read through the sports highlights in the newspaper. 

Natalie waited eighteen minutes. She remained fixed on the couch the full eighteen minutes as he finished his breakfast and rinsed his plate. He headed to his office without a glance towards the couch. 

As the door closed, she grabbed for her sneakers, quickly slipping them on and lacing them up. She got up from the couch, jogging lightly in place to loosen up, before chugging half her mug of coffee and heading for the front door. 

She'd already spent too long sitting in one place, and the anxiety of it swirled into an unrelenting storm in her chest. Her legs moved as fast as they would carry her. This was not meant to be a casual jog. This was self-induced punishment for stupidity. Stupidity for allowing herself to get sent her. Stupidity for assuming her brother's death. Stupidity for not telling Riko the moment she knew. 

In all honesty, Natalie couldn't remember the last time she'd been so sedentary in one sitting. Sleep had been a fitful thing as of late and with the shortened days at the Nest, not a particularly productive activity. 

She could feel her body, at around the fifteen-minute mark, start to protest. As usual, this was the part of the workout that Natalie most enjoyed--denying her body what it was begging her for. The tightness along her calves and the small pull up through her hamstrings only fueled her to go faster, run further. It took her another twenty minutes to turn around and head back the other way, and it was only at the five-minute mark that she had to slow her pace. 

When she returned back to the apartment, Coach Wymack was waiting for her. 

"The hell did you run off to?"

Natalie looked around the apartment quickly, trying to gauge if they were alone or not. She decided they were before she spoke. 

"I need to keep up my conditioning," she said with a shrug as she headed for the refrigerator. 

The contents of the fridge were less than ideal. All leftover takeout containers and different types of condiment bottles. 

"Don't you have anything that wouldn't kill me on the spot?" 

Wymack ignored her. "I thought maybe you went to go deal with Minyard." 

"He's not worth my time," Natalie said as she grabbed for the plate of eggs Wymack had made earlier before closing the fridge door. She leaned against the kitchen counter to stare at Wymack head-on while she shoveled the eggs into her mouth. 

"That so? You know, most people would be afraid of him. Most people are afraid of him." 

"Yeah? He can fuck off. I know better than to be afraid of some perceived psychopath."

Wymack raised an eyebrow but didn't ask any further questions. 

"Shower and change into something you've got in that duffel of yours. You're coming with me to the foxhole court." 

Natalie burst out laughing. "Wow. You would think the coach of such a volatile team would do more to prioritize protecting them. You sure you trust me around them?" 

"At least I can see you. I'm not wondering if you're off plotting the deaths of my athletes." 

"Oh, Coach. How you underestimate me. I can do that just as easily sitting right in front of you." 

"Change," he said firmly, pointing at the duffel for emphasis. "We leave in twelve minutes." 

Natalie grabbed her bag and headed for the bathroom. 

She took three deep breaths after closing the door before she turned on the lights and greeted her reflection in the mirror. 

She had never inherited the Wesninski eyes--bright blue and paralyzing. And she certainly didn't look anything like her father's daughter. Whenever she saw her reflection, all she saw was her mother staring back at her. Even with the dark hair that Riko had insisted upon, her cheekbones, her eyes, all held the same Hatford indifference. That indifference, mixed with her mother's paranoia that she had spent so much of her childhood hating. And now with Riko's number tattoed on her face, she was marked with two groups she wanted nothing to do with. 

Unable to stare at her reflection any longer, she made herself as busy as she could fussing in her bag. Riko has been intentional with what he had packed. There were outfits of reminded her of the things she’d done for him—leather boots with thick heels, dark colors she’d worn as she punched the shit out of anyone he felt like intimidating, belts she’d looped knives and weapons through. And Raven's everything. Tracksuits, sweatshirts, t-shirts, jerseys, hats. She pulled a pair of black fitted athletic pants, her raven exy t-shirt and sweatshirt out of the bag before turning the water on to shower. She spread Wymack's 2-in-1 store brand shampoo in her hair and scrubbed soap on her face quickly before rinsing off and stepping out of the shower. 

Natalie made quick work of ringing out her hair and fastening it into two long braids that sat on her chest before getting dressed hastily. She grabbed her Ravens cap from her bag and secured it in place on her head before stepping out. She had an idea of what to expect from the Foxes, and it would take careful consideration in the car ride over to be ready to face them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalie meets to the Foxes.

It was nearly a week before the Foxes saw Natalie play. The first few days Wymack brought Natalie to the Foxhole court, she was sequestered in his office, much to the chagrin of the Foxes. It had only taken the first day for everyone outside of Kevin, Neil, and Andrew to put together what was going on. Mostly as a result of Matthew's loose lips about what he'd seen in the locker room at the winter banquet. The news spread like nothing Neil had ever seen and as unconcerned as he usually was for gossip, he saw the appeal. Neil Josten has a sister who plays for the Ravens. 

So, when on day six, she barged out of the office and stalked into the locker room before the team meeting, reactions ranged from diabolical glee to debilitating shock. She hadn't allowed Neil to see her one time since meeting her at Wymack's apartment, so it was a shock to his system to see so much red and black in the locker room. Both unnatural and haunting at once. The moment she entered, Neil looked immediately at Andrew. 

"Whoa," Matt said as his eyes landed on her. The low chatter of the other Foxes died out almost immediately. 

It was Nicky--of all people--who agreed after a moment of stunned silence. "Damn, Neil. I didn't realize your sister was so hot." 

Suddenly, Neil was fifteen years old again, transported back instantly to too many comments made by too many passersby when anonymity had been the top priority. 

"Shut up," Neil threatened. It was low, but it was enough for Matt and Dan to exchange a quick glance. 

"You're gay," Aaron felt inclined to remind his cousin. 

"I can still appreciate aesthetic beauty, Aaron," Nicky said, fanning a hand against his chest defensively. His gaze turned back to Natalie, assessing her with an arched eyebrow. "Good genes must run in the family, huh?" 

"Well, stop appreciating it," Kevin grumbled, but he kept his eyes trained on Natalie's shoulder. "That goes for all of you." He gave a particularly pointed glare at Seth and Allison. 

"Fuck off, day," Seth quipped. 

"Kevin." Natalie's voice was sharper and deeper than anyone expected and demanded attention that Neil was surprised the Foxes gave her. Andrew didn't seem surprised, though he did appear unamused. Neil felt the same crackles of tension in the air that he'd felt when they had first met. 

Kevin slid his eyes up so that they looked into hers. "Alice?" To anyone else, it sounded like her name--no uncertainty in Kevin's delivery. But to Neil, and to Natalie, Kevin's hesitance nearly choked him. 

Her smile was a tame version of their father's trademark smirk. "Looks like someone doesn't have the same power over his team as back at the Nest. How the mighty have fallen." 

Kevin didn't say anything, but Neil noticed the slight way his jaw slackened. Nicky snorted, and the upperclassman snickered. It wasn't until Andrew started laughing that everyone shut up. He was sitting on the couch, legs uncrossed and elbows on his knees. 

"Well, well. The little Raven has a mouth on her." He leaned towards her and stage-whispered, "guess we'll have to fix that." 

She returned his whisper. "Stronger men have tried." 

The tension grew thick, with the Foxes fixing their eyes back and forth between the two of them. Andrew didn't make a move, didn't jump up towards her or even alter his stance. And Neil saw the rigidity in Natalie's frame. He'd seen her fight before, plenty of times, and that was before she was exposed to her father and the Nest and the Moriyamas. He'd never doubted Andrew's lethality before, but he knew his sister's as fact. 

"Where's the popcorn?" Allison asked, receiving a quick slap from Dan. 

Wymack walked in, his lips a hard line as he fixed his eyes on Natalie. Her introduction to the Foxes was clearly unplanned on his part. "Well, this is Alice Josten. The incessant gossips you are, you have put together that she is Neil's sister." He looked to each one of the Foxes, assessing their reactions before continuing. When his eyes found Neil, Wymack held the gaze a bit longer than necessary. Neil wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean exactly. "Even with Seth's observation skills, I'm sure you've put together from the outfit that she is a Raven." 

Kevin was quick to amend Wymack's statement. "Not officially." 

Alice used her middle finger to tap the number tattooed on her cheekbone. It was Riko's calling card. "Official enough for you?" 

"She's a minor. So, not formally on the Raven lineup," Kevin explained as he ignored her. 

"I already have my GED," she pointed out as she examined her fingernails. She addressed it to the room, rather than Kevin, who she seemed to now be ignoring. Neil couldn't understand what she was playing at or what she was hoping to accomplish in doing so. "I was set to start this season. I guess like you all, we have our own little secrets we keep from the EOC." 

"Wait, he had you starting?" This was news to Kevin. News to everyone really, but Neil supposed Kevin was the only one for whom it was a shock. 

"Doesn't matter," Wymack cut in. "I won't keep anyone here with such strong ties to the Ravens, that could put all of you in danger, without putting it to a vote."

"Oh, Coach," Dan interrupted, worried eyes flicking back between Neil and the rest of Andrew's lot. 

"Like everything, we are voting. We've done it before. We are doing it now." Wymack threw a glance at Neil. "Now that you've met Alice, it is the team's decision whether or not she stays." 

"Met is sort of a loose term," Renee started. She was watching Natalie. Actually, Neil realized Renee hadn't taken her eyes off of Natalie for a single moment. That some unnerving stare she used to give him--to see it turned on someone else was oddly satisfying. 

"Stays as in, she plays for us?" Nicky asked. His eyebrows were folded curiously as he surveyed the rest of the room. Neil noticed the subtle changes in their facial expressions at the suggestion Natalie play on their side.

"We would take that one step at a-"

"Absolutely not." It was Allison, of all people, that came forward with the declaration. 

"She's the best backliner outside of Jean." 

Kevin's comment shut everyone up in a second. 

He made eye contact with each of the Foxes. "She has a shit attitude, and she'll be defiant every step of the way. But she's better than half the Ravens." The implication behind his words was clear: she's better than any of you. 

"We should vote," Renee insisted. Neil suspected it was her way of breaking the silence that followed Kevin's declaration. 

"Those in favor?" The hands were quick to go up. Kevin. Renee. Nicky. Matt. 

"Opposed?" Seth. Allison. Aaron. Andrew. 

"She's his family," Nicky tried to implore, staring directly at Aaron. "He's her brother." 

"How is that my problem?" Aaron said flippantly. "I don't want a Raven here. We have enough to deal with on this fucking team as is." 

"We voted to bring you all in," Matt said, fired up by Aaron's apathy. "Even though we had problems big enough to run our team into the ground." 

"We were assets to the team," Aaron replied dismissively. 

"Assets?" Seth snorted. "That's fucking rich." 

"She's an asset! You heard what Day said," Matt argued back. 

"You two didn't vote," Wymack said before Aaron could respond. He had his body turned towards both Neil and Dan. 

"Abstaining," Dan said before Neil could get a word in edgewise. 

Everyone turned to Neil. Their eyes made him twitch with desperate discomfort. He was hoping as he watched each hand go up, as he watched the back and forth between the votes cast, that someone would waver and change sides. Honestly, he hadn't even considered who, and what the outcome would be, just so long as he wasn't put in the uncomfortable situation of casting a deciding vote. 

He had been trying to decide how exactly it was he felt about Natalie since he'd first seen her. There was fear, tight around his throat, by the threat she raised just by being here. Her presence brought with it questions, and it was much easier to have a cohesive story when he was the only one alive to give credit to it. 

He'd spent so long thinking she was dead, and to see her here now, donning a red and black Raven's jumpsuit was indescribable. 

"We don't get to see her play first?" Neil asked. 

"See her play?" Allison echoed with irritation. 

"If we are deciding whether or not to keep her, we should know what she's worth." 

Natalie let out a single laugh and pulled her cold brown eyes away from Andrew and to Neil. They were eyes he should associate with family, with protection, with safety. The eyes of a mother he buried and left behind. Natalie's eyes should remind him of their mother and make him happy that they had both managed to survive this long. But all he saw was hate, and pain, and stillness so chilling he was sure it couldn't be removed. 

"That's bold, coming from you, brother. You already know that Jostens aren't worth anything." 

"Coach," Kevin said tightly, in the only way that Kevin pleaded in front of others. "Give her thirty minutes." 

Wymack turned to her skeptically. "You're not going to try anything on my players are you?" 

"Not unless they ask really nicely," she said with a smug smirk on her face. 

Wymack sighed. “I’ll give you twenty minutes, and then we decide. No more bullshit.” 

Kevin nodded tightly before addressing Natalie. “Get your gear out.” 

“Don’t have it.” 

It was the biggest 'fuck you' she could have managed without actually reaming him out. 

Kevin stepped in close to her. Only Neil was close enough to make out what he was saying. 

“Don’t do this to yourself. You’re too good to fuck it up now that he is out of your way.” 

Her smile was slow and tragic. “Is that what you believe? That he’s out of your way now?” 

“Put your gear on, and I’ll show you.” 

She turned around so that Kevin couldn't see her face, so that none of the Foxes could, before closing her eyes slightly. Her head was lowered, facing the ground. Neil saw her hands twitch at her sides, and he knew the decision she was going to make before she spoke it aloud. 

"I don't have any gear, but I'll play." When she turned around her features were fixed in absolute apathy. It was a face he had seen on his mother dozens of times. Forced boredom, with paranoia and panic underneath. Natalie had perfected it in the years since he'd last seen her. 

"We have spare. Renee will show you. Everyone else, get on the court." 

No one questioned Kevin, far too curious and excited to bother being resistant quite yet. Renee led Natalie off without a word, while everyone else grabbed what they needed for practice and started changing out. 

"Is there a brain in there at all?" Andrew asked, tapping a knuckle against Neil's skull as Neil pulled on his practice gear. 

"If she's good-"

Andrew walked away before Neil could finish. 

They'd never stepped on an official Exy court together before. As children, their age had kept them apart from one another. Sure, they had practiced against each other, but they had never shared the same space. The last time they had even played together they had had entirely different positions. It was fitting that they should be on opposing teams now. He strapped his gear on, anticipation thrumming through him. 

Natalie was already at the court door, waiting in the spare gear Renee had shown her. As Neil got closer, Natalie turned around, saying something low for only Kevin to hear before walking onto the court. 

She took the court like she was made to strut across the glistening linoleum--swinging her exy stick this way or that, swirling it as she positioned herself at the far-court line. Hunched over her knees, hands on her thighs, she waited for Kevin's orders to the rest of the Foxes. 

“Alice. Aaron. Seth. Renee. Allison.”

“We’re down a backliner,” Aaron pointed out. 

“Down a striker,” Alice said with a smirk.

“Alice and Aaron back lining, Seth and Renee as strikers. Allison as the defensive dealer. We’ll play no goalies.” 

“No goalie?”

“We won’t need one,” Alice said. She was crouched down low, already in position. She tapped her Exy stick against the linoleum, rotating it behind her back to stretch. As everyone else got into their positions, she rolled her neck, hopped up and down on her feet, before waiting perfectly still and poised to run. 

There was a moment, right before their scrimmage happened, that Neil saw clearly what their life could have been. He saw the span of a fake life they could never have had, growing up playing Exy together, victory in the truest sense of the word. They could have been the siblings everyone spoke about, could have rivaled Kevin and Riko, even.

Neil rolled his shoulders, physically trying to force the mental images out of his mind. He waited anxiously for Dan to call the play. As the offensive dealer, this was her domain. She hesitated, waiting for her eyes to connect with Neil before dealing. 

Kevin had barely taken a step before Natalie was off running. It seemed like a ridiculous move, stepping ten yard right, away from Kevin before cutting across to the opposite side of the court. She stick-checked Kevin on his ninth step, coming from behind him to throw off his balance just as he fired at the wall to rebound the ball back to himself. Neil had never seen Kevin so careless. He regained control of the ball, but his momentum was off, so when Natalie knocked the back of his stick with her own, he lost possession of the ball. 

She scooped the ball into her net and threw it across the court with barely a glance towards Renee just before Kevin bumped back into her, sending her barreling towards the ground. 

Natalie was deceitful and cunning--tricky, in almost every motion. Dodging and weaving whenever the opportunity presented itself. She was the kind of player Neil most enjoyed facing. As he watched her, he felt his chest swell-- first envy, first greed, then desire. He wanted to play with her, share that space. He ran faster, pushed himself further, but every time she was there, stealing the ball back and blocking defense. Every shot Kevin tried on goal she intercepted. And for Neil? He was lucky to make it past the far-court line. 

Squared low and ready to spring as soon as the moment called for it, Natalie reset her position the moment they moved for a half-court reset. It was almost a wonder to watch her match Kevin. He was better --years more experience and a natural propensity for expecting perfection had made it that way-- but not by much. And Natalie knew how to exploit all of the weaknesses the foxes were too blinded to see. 

In Exy, offsides were in effect, so when she switched tactics to wait past Nicky at the first-court line Neil’s focus was split between the scrimmage and watching his sister. It was a move Neil had seen played by the Ravens, an intimidation tactic used by a team who knew they were going to win, who were also guilty of sometimes trying to trap their opposing team into being offsides. But he’d never seen a backliner do it. It left the opposing goal too defenseless.

Renee passed in Natalie’s general direction in a moment of desperate confusion against Matt. She leaped in front of Nicky, catching the ball smoothly before taking four steps and shooting on their empty goal. Nicky crashed into her too late, sending her stick sliding out of her hands, but as he apologized and helped her up, Natalie ignored him, her eyes fixed on Seth who was barreling towards her on the court. 

“You’re not a fucking striker, Raven brat,” Seth spat. He tore his helmet off and took several large steps so he could tower over Natalie. “Stay in your lane.” 

“May as well not even have a second striker,” she said. Her voice was even, unamused but unperturbed by Seth’s seething. “With the way you play, it’s a wonder even this pathetic team hasn’t dropped your ass yet.” 

Allison grabbed her by her shoulder, spinning her where she stood so that they could face on another. 

“Look here—” she started. 

“Alice and Seth as strikers,” Dan said suddenly. Her voice was commanding and so sudden that Allison stopped in her tracks. 

Kevin stared at her. 

“You said she could play any position right?” Dan questioned before looking back at Natalie. “Let’s see her play then. They’ll take offense.” 

Natalie moved wordlessly to the middle of the court. 

Her desire for the ball was apparent, but it was nothing compared to her drive to win. Her passes to Seth were flawless, even as he kept hold onto the ball. If everyone had expected her to scream at Seth each time he held onto the ball only to lose it, they were sorely surprised. She kept her mouth shut, resetting to the outside on the half court line each time, stealing the ball back from Kevin’s team only to have Seth lose it again. This, for some reason, infuriated Seth beyond belief. 

“What,” Seth demanded as they lined up once more. “Nothing to say now?” 

“Your incompetence speaks for itself.” 

“The fuck did you just say?” 

“Shut up,” Dan snapped. “Just shut the fuck up, both of you. Kevin, how much longer is this going to go on for? We get it; she’s a Raven. It doesn’t prove anything.” 

“Except her shitty attitude,” Allison added. 

“She’s snarky,” Nicky said a gleeful smile on his face. “Fox behavior if I’ve ever seen it.” 

“No one asked you,” Allison felt inclined to point out as Natalie spoke simultaneously. “Don’t insult me,” she said.

“Andrew, get in goal.” Wymack’s voice. “Renee, I want you off. Let’s see Kevin and Alice striking, Boyd get on their backline. Dan deal.” 

“And our side?” Neil asked. 

“You. Seth. Allison. Aaron. Nicky. Andrew.” 

“That’s four-v-six,” Matt said in disbelief.

Wymack said nothing, just moved off the court and closed the door behind him. 

Neil would like to say that it was an unfair advantage, facing a team with two extra players. But he could feel the difference between the skill of Kevin and Alice almost as soon as they took off, and having Matt as a backliner only increased the talent on their side. 

Alice and Kevin crisscrossed across the court, their movements fluid and creative, and impossible to discern, their passing inconsistent and unpredictable. Every pass of the ball was precise so that when Natalie made a rebound at almost the height of the ten-yard high plexiglass wall, it landed perfectly into Kevin’s waiting Exy stick without any effort on his part. 

As they moved up court, around the various extra players they had to deal with, it was Aaron who checked Natalie so hard she was knocked out of play. She flew back, landing flat on her back so hard that her helmet knocked off in the process. She scrambled for her stick, arms jutting out in an attempt to grab it as she rolled over onto her stomach. Allison kicked it away on her way down the court, but Natalie dug her nails into the linoleum and forced herself up. 

She was at Allison’s side, throwing her full body weight into a check that had Allison pinned against the wall. The ball jumped out of Allison’s net and scuttled off near their feet, where Allison bumped it with the butt of her stick, keeping Allison in place as Matt scooped the ball and threw it up-court. 

A moment before she would have been called for holding, Natalie let go, running desperately after the ball. Kevin scored before she could get to the 1/4 line. Wymack blew his whistle. 

“Boyd hop on the opposite line for Nicky. Alice take backline. Neil replace your sister. Renee replace Neil.” Then he added after a moment of thought, “Dan come off.” 

“You’re not serious, coach.” Matt looked over at the three of them in something like pity. 

With no dealer, they were forced on defense, which mattered for approximately two minutes and thirty seconds until Natalie stole the ball and executed a flawless rebound up-court, almost right into Kevin’s stick. Kevin took six steps before passing it back down court, where Natalie had inexplicably moved. She barely took one step before she passed to Neil. Neil made his ten steps before passing to Kevin who was waiting in front of Nicky. Nicky checked him, but Kevin still managed possession, even as Allison doubled back and checked him into the wall. Kevin passed to Alice, who ran past the half-line before being knocked back by Seth. At the last moment, the ball went sailing through the air into Kevin’s net. He took a shot on goal after nine steps. It took them forty-five seconds of possession to score.

“Sit,” Wyman said as he walked towards the center of the court. The foxes plopped themselves down and began stripping themselves of gear. Natalie remained standing, leaning against her Exy stick in a move that mirrored Andrew’s stance down by the goal. 

This time, when the foxes voted, it was unanimous.


	7. Chapter 7

Neil was waiting for Natalie when she arrived back at the apartment with Wymack. He was leaned up against the wall, the perfect image of calm, and he didn't jerk up as they approached. It was an interesting tactic, and one she wasn't sure Neil knew what to do with. It was funny, those things about her brother that had changed over the years and those things that had remained the same.

Wymack threw a glance at Natalie as they approached.

"Coming in, Neil?"

"Hi, coach. I was hoping to talk to Natalie."

"In the hallway?" Wymack asked, eyebrow raised suspiciously.

Natalie didn't want to drag this out any longer than necessary. She switched quickly to French to start what would likely be an unpleasant conversation.

"What is it you want?" she asked, her words seeped in boredom. Wymack didn't leave, eyes flicking back between Neil and Natalie in anticipation. Honestly, she didn't blame him.

"We need to talk."

She adjusted the strap of her duffel bag and glanced at Wymack.

"So, talk. We won’t find a time or a place more private than this one. Not with your guard dog always watching you.”

“That’s why we need to talk. He’s going to start asking you questions. Questions we need to have the same answers to.”

“You want me to lie for you,” Natalie realized with a laugh. “No dice. He asks questions, and I’m telling the truth.”

“He’ll kill you, Natalie. Don’t make the mistake of thinking he won’t. He’ll kill you and who knows what will happen if he finds out about our father.”

“Your biggest concern right now should by the Moriyamas.”

At the last name, Wymack seemed to perk up.

Neil's eyes glanced carefully over to Wymack, but Natalie continued the conversation without a second thought.

“There isn’t anything dad can do. Tetsuji knows you're alive. He will try to recruit you. He can protect you. You and Kevin are better off there.”

“You're stubborn.”

“And you're obtuse.”

They stared at each other, each person's accusation fresh off their lips. Natalie was the first to give. She prided herself on not having Nathaniel's mother’s stubbornness.

“What did you tell him, anyway?”

“That mom and dad are dead, and the Moriyamas killed them because dad skimmed from the boss's funds. I told him that I’ve been running since.”

“I’m assuming you didn’t mention me. So, how did you spin it after I showed up?”

“We ran away together. You disappeared when I was fourteen? He bought it.”

“He’s fucking with you. No way does he buy it. He’s waiting to test me and then countermove from there.”

“Well, then we better be sure our stories line up, no?”

Natalie shook her head. “You’re fighting the wrong battle, Nate—”

“Don’t.”

She rolled her eyes. “Neil, you’re fighting the wrong battle. Andrew's barely a pawn here.”

“You’re not giving this place a chance,” he accused. It burst out of him, so intensely Natalie raised her eyebrows.

“He convinced you didn’t he? You believe a nineteen-year-old with a juvie record and antipsychotics can save you from dad, save you from the largest international crime syndicate on the eastern seaboard? They would have us all executed for even thinking the things you say.”

“I’m not saying he can save us.”

Natalie looked at him for a long time, not saying anything until she had played the scenario through her brother's mind. She imagined what he must be thinking and only when she was sure did she say something.

“You’re going to the feds.” Neil didn’t deny it. “When?”

“Andrew can buy us time. Time to play. To live some semblance of lives.”

“I don’t care if I fucking play,” she yelled, lying. “When?”

“The spring.”

“So, after however close you get to championships. Wow. You are so fucking stupid, Neil.”

“I’ve been told,” he said tightly.

“Andrew doesn’t know,” Natalie guessed.

“Can’t know,” he corrected.

“But Kevin does.” Neil neither confirmed nor denied. Natalie let out a huff of a laugh. “Of course he does. The two of you. Tell me Neil: what the fuck is the point of living in this fantasy?”

“My life should mean something. It should be mine. Even if it’s only for a minute.”

“It’ll be more like a second.”

“Still worth it.”

Natalie scoffed. “Is it?”

“Yes. Yours should be too.”

It stung more than she expected it to. She wanted to deck him for it. Instead, she narrowed her eyes and spoke in quick, clipped words.

"I will back your story when he inevitably comes looking for me. In the meantime, you leave me out of your shit."

"We haven't seen each other in so long. Don't you want to..." He let the rest of the sentence hang.

"Leave me alone, Neil. That's the price for my compliance here. I have no desire to have any relationship with you. We talk only in so far as we communicate on the court and that's it. That's my deal. What'll it be?"

"Ok."

"You're obsessed."

"Mom would be so pleased to see her hatred for Exy was passed on to you."

"Don't talk to me about your mother."

"Our mother."

"Fuck off, Nate." 

* * *

Wymack had nothing to say about the exchange between Natalie and Neil. When Neil said goodnight, Wymack returned it before opening the door for her. When they entered together, he asked what she wanted to eat and then he made quick work of making grilled cheese sandwiches. There wasn't much small talk. He asked how she felt about practice and she gave a noncommittal response. They ate their food quickly, and Wymack took a cup of coffee into his office and told her she could help herself to whatever else she needed.

Being alone in Wymack's apartment was starting to grate on her nerves. She'd never been alone in the Nest. Between the roommate and the Riko room service calls, she was lucky if she got half an hour to herself a day.

For lack of anything better to do, she turned on the TV and stared at the screen without processing any of the screaming colors moving around. It was mindless and mindnumbing, and the perfect end to a ridiculously exhausting day. She stayed on the coach for well over an hour.

Natalie knew who was standing behind the door the moment she heard the three sharp, impatient knocks. Andrew, with Aaron and Nicky waiting against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway, looked upon her as she wrenched the door to Wymack’s apartment open. Wymack had moved to the bathroom to take a shower, and she could still hear the water still running. Natalie suspected Andrew knew Wymack’s schedule intimately if he was able to time his arrival so precisely.

“We’re going on a trip.”

“What should I bring?” She answered without hesitation. She’d played too many games like this before to waste a moment's hesitation. Reluctance was equal to weakness, and that wasn’t a move she was willing to waste on Andrew.

He walked away, leaving Aaron and Nicky in his wake.

Nicky didn’t hesitate, even as Aaron’s eyes trailed confusedly after his brother.

“It’s a club. In Columbia. You should wear something nice.”

“Track pants aren’t an option then?” Natalie asked, thumbing the fabric of her Ravens gear.

“Something expensive, black, and tight,” Nicky clarified.

“Now you sound like Riko,” Natalie said as she spun on her heel. The door to Wymack’s apartment remained wide open, Nicky and Aaron in the threshold, as Natalie pulled articles of clothing from out of her duffel bag.

She peeled off her shirt, Aaron looking away uncomfortably as Nicky stared at her in wonder.

“You didn’t inherit your brother's modesty.”

“Or his cowardice,” Natalie said with a wink as she pulled on a pair of ripped black jeans. She transferred her fake ID and some cash into a clutch before pinching her cheeks for some quick color. “Let’s go.”

“You won’t need that,” Aaron said as he eyed the purse in her hands.

Natalie pulled the door to Wymack’s apartment closed. “It will help them better identify the body.”

She exited the apartment building and moved into the car. Nicky drove, and it was a long while on dark empty roads before anyone spoke. She sat sandwiched between Andrew and Aaron in the middle seat.

"So," Nicky started, eyes jumping to the rearview mirror to look back at her. "Officially a part of the Foxes lineup. How does it feel?"

"Temporary."

"Well, you seem to have a real talent for the sport," Nicky said pleasantly. "And we'll keep any talent like that we can get."

"Maybe it's best if we don't talk," she suggested, staring straight ahead through the windshield.

Natalie spent the remainder of the car ride wondering how Neil would have handled this exact situation. Andrew hardly seemed the trusting type, and if she knew anything about men with fragile egos, it was that they were creatures of habit. Natalie wouldn't have been surprised to learn that Andrew pulled this with anyone that was worth his suspicion.

Neil had probably been a paranoid wreck. As children, he had tended to try to calm himself by listing all of the potential problems that would arise and trying to convince himself of solutions to each of them. It was a tendency of his mother. One, that like many of Mary's traits had not stuck with Nat.

As the headlights passed over the exit sign for Columbia, and Nicky prepared to turn off onto the exit ramp, the car slowed as traffic increased. Natalie could feel herself getting antsy--could feel the tension of it running goosebumps along her forearms and thighs. She closed her eyes for half a second, take a shallow little breath, before working through the steps of blocking off every feeling and emotion. It was something that at one time had taken extensive preparation, but now it was a switch. Every so often it would flicker out, but it was controlled as quickly as flicking off a light and turning it back on again.

Nicky pulled into a parking lot for what appeared to be a dinner. The twins hopped out quickly as Nicky cut the engine, and Natalie slid out after Andrew. Kevin was the last of the car and seemed--in his not so subtle Kevin sort of way--to be hanging towards the back of the group by Natalie.

Natalie could feel Kevin's disproval come off of him in waves as he attempted to catch her eyes. She ignored him as easily now as she had in the Nest, which was to say not at all. But now it was defiance, not fear, that her looking away.

Andrew waltzed inside and sat at the nearest booth before the hostess had even said four words to him. When the waitress brought over menus, he ordered a particular type of dessert immediately before anyone could get a word in edgewise.

“Phone,” Andrew said finally. She sat directly across from him, Nicky to her left. Andrew sat between Kevin and Aaron on the opposite side of the booth.

“Afraid I’ll call for backup?”

“Something like that.”

She slid the slim black phone across the table, despite the look Kevin threw her way. It was bold, giving something from Riko over to Andrew, but she didn’t see any choice, and she also didn’t particularly care what information fell into Andrew’s hands.

He tucked the phone haphazardly into the inside pocket of his leather jacket before drumming his fingertips on the table, waiting impatiently for the ice cream he ordered. The drumming was stilted though, she noticed, and she could see small shakes in Andrew's frame every so often. He looked pale and clammy. It took five seconds for her to realize.

She knew all about the court mandates for Andrew's drugs, and for a moment she was mildly impressed how little regard he had for Riko, that he would defy his court order so blatantly in front of her. She also knew the power of sitting on useful information. So, she remained tight-lipped despite her impulses otherwise.

Natalie had seen a number of drug deals, but she would be lying if she said she saw something covert happen in a place so public. The waitress set down an elaborate ice cream dish in front of Andrew, along with bowls for the table and a pile of napkins, Andrew went immediately to digging into the napkins for tiny packets of yellow dust. When Andrew downed the first packet of cracker dust, she felt her eyes widen slightly. By the time he passed one to her underneath a napkin, she had collected her face.

“Must you do this every time?” Aaron asked, looking around as subtly as he dared. "We’re in the middle of the restaurant.”

Andrew stared pointedly at Natalie, who stared back unwavering.

“Do all Jostens think drugs are bad?” he inquired mockingly.

Natalie said nothing, not breaking eye contact even after he placed his hands on the napkin to slide it back to his side of the table.

Nicky did his best to pepper Natalie with questions as Andrew dug into his sundae, but her resounding silence eventually dissuaded him from trying. It was Aaron, ultimately, that got her to speak.

“Are you going to be as much of a problem as your brother?”

She turned towards him. He was sitting adjacent from her at the table, next to Andrew and Kevin. He made eye contact with her, and not the dodgy kind Nicky did, or the pitying kind Kevin sported. His eyes were definitively different from Andrew’s—shrewd and unwavering but also without challenge. There was a real part of Aaron Minyard that was dead. She felt the intensity of it in the depths of his gaze.

“Are you as much of a problem as yours?”

“No,” he said honestly. “Your answer?”

“Yes.” She smiled. “Maybe more so.”

Aaron broke eye contact to take a sip of his coke. “I don’t like liars.”

“That’s a shame. I really like lying.”

“So does Neil.”

“But,” she said with a small wag of her finger. “He’s not nearly as good at it as I am.”

Andrew stood abruptly, abandoning his dessert and pushed Aaron out of the booth. Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin scrambled to gather their things. Nicky motioned for Natalie to stand up and follow Andrew back to the car. Aaron threw a large stack of twenties onto the table before following them.

They arrived, fifteen minutes later, outside of a club called Eden's twilight. Everything happened so quickly, and Natalie was a bit out of practice of taking in her surroundings, that she ended up perched on a stool what felt like only a few moments later. Kevin and Aaron were busy clearing off a table while Nicky pulled up another chair.

The club was loud and dark, and precisely the kind of place Riko liked to take anyone he was also trying to intimidate.

When Andrew stood to get drinks, Natalie followed close behind.

Andrew seemed content to wait it out for the perfect bartender, and as they chatted, Natalie looked around them, trying to assess how many people were here and whether any of them were suspicious. She'd forgotten what it was to take stock of a room where someone might be lurking around the corner to get you. When she went out with Riko, all of her attention was focused on him, and for a good reason. It was a different kind of protection from what her mother had taught her, and one that she had had to learn on her own. Standing in front of a snake and watching to wait for it to tense for a bite took a special kind of observaition.

"Soda?" Andrew asked, pulling her focus back to him.

"With vodka. Keep it clear." She put enough emphasis on the word so that both Andrew and this bartender knew what she meant, even knowing it was a futile gesture. Sometimes, the theatrics were fun to play. And they certainly kept her distracted for what was to come inevitably.

"You heard her," Andrew said with a small shrug.

Roland went to work setting shots on a tray, saving Natalie's vodka soda for last. He pulled a glass from behind him and reached for the bottle of vodka in the well under the bar. He filled the glass generously before topping it with club soda and dropping in a lemon twist, spreading the rind around the rim of her drink. Natalie raised the left side of her mouth into a small smirk. The lengths they were going with the theatrics of deception were almost too much for her.

When they arrived back at the table, each of the boys took their drinks quickly.

Natalie drank from her glass instantly, ignoring the sickeningly sweet and salty taste of the drugs that clung to the roof of her mouth. She didn't say a word until she finished it. Then, she accepted a shot handed to her by Andrew and knocked it back. She counted in her mind to three hundred and seventy-two, ignoring the low conversation of Aaron and Kevin and Nicky and Andrew, before she turned towards Andrew with a smile.

"Alright. What do you want to know?" she asked. "Or did you want to wait for the drugs to kick in first?"

Nicky glanced nervously between Andrew and Aaron before settling back onto her.

"That's kind of an intense accusation," Nicky started slowly.

"Let's not waste our time by pretending."

She reached past Andrew towards the tray, and though he didn't stiffen as she drew closer, Nicky, who was across from her, most certainly did.

Natalie grabbed the shot and threw it back, feeling more of the drug cling to her tongue. It felt swollen and numb suddenly, and she let out a wild laugh before grabbing another shot. In her experience, it was best to be ahead of it.

"Andrew, Andrew, Andrew," she sang. "You really need to be much more original. Alcohol? Drugs? What's next? Drag me in the bathroom, have your way with me? Bring out the big guns will you? Where's the torture, the humiliation? "

Nicky stared at her horrified as Aaron turned away. Kevin focused intently on following Natalie's lead, drinking as quickly as his arms and his throat would allow the shots to go down.

"If it continues like this," she said, pausing to drink the shot she had been holding. "We'll be in for a dreadfully boring night, don't you think?"

Andrew kept quiet for a few moments. Natalie was content to look around the faces of the other men with her.

"Can't decide if you're all cowards or if it's just Kevin," she said slowly. Her words weren't working correctly, and she could feel her body reacting strangely to the things pumping through her system.

Andrew gripped her chin fiercely and turned her face towards him. She struggled, not able to help the response of her body, and reached out for Andrew.

"Just another minute or two," he decided, letting her go. He shoved her back into her chair, and before she could move forward to pounce on him for laying a hand on her, Aaron kicked her chair out from underneath her.

She landed painfully on her knees and half-crawled for Andrew before Aaron hooked a foot around her leg and pulled her back. Andrew stood and walked into the crowd, down the stairs, and towards the bright red exit sign at the back of the club.

Nicky scrambled to get her up. Other people were looking now, and she could feel Nicky's nervousness.

"You'll be better off playing the game."

The advice came from Kevin, but when Natalie spun towards him, she stumbled.

"Strong," she muttered, clutching her head.

"Well you took enough of it," Kevin said bitterly. He wrenched her from Nicky's grip and pulled her roughly towards the crowd, after Andrew, leaving Nicky and Aaron relatively stunned.

"Seriously," he said harshly into her ear. She wasn't sure if he was screaming or not, but the words rang out harshly in her mind. "What kind of move was that?"

"Andrew is all about displays of strength."

"This isn't Riko. He isn't Riko."

"Close enough," she mumbled. She felt the inexplicable urge to get away, something she hadn't acted on in years. She wrenched herself out of Kevin's grip and flung herself down the stairs, rationalizing that gravity would allow her to move faster than her legs could carry her.

Hands wrapped around her wrists before she hit the bottom stair, wrenching her back so harshly from the ground she felt her neck crack. She whirled around, and it was Andrew, looking distinctly displeased. Then she started to laugh, realizing who it really was.

"You know, I don't know how anyone has troubling telling you two apart," she muttered.

Aaron kept his grip on her wrist, pulling her towards the exit. She followed, realizing that there was no good way for her to get out of this conversation with Andrew now. Her head still felt like it was throbbing in beat with the thumping of the club music, and she had to squint her eyes to stave off a headache felt forming in the middle of her forehead, but she adjusted slightly to the particular high of the drugs.

Aaron threw open the door, and the fresh night air hit her instantly. She was so grateful for it that she plopped down right next to the door, half dragging Aaron down with her.

"Better go fetch him," she said wistfully, her eyes closing as she leaned her head back against the brick exterior of the building.

The door opened several moments later, and Andrew crouched down, so they were eye level. He raised a hand right next to her head and pressed it to the wall, boxing her in. She opened her eyes, examining his face for a moment before closing them again.

"Better start telling me something interesting, Alice."

"What would be the point?" she asked.

"I don't trust you. And you won't be able to stay so long as that's the case."

"Boo-hoo. The new Foxes will have to carry on without me then, I suppose."

"There's also the fact that I don't like loose ends."

"You won't kill me, though I'd love for you to do it. I can't do it myself, you see. So, you'd be doing me a favor."

"Trying to call a bluff then? Or create one of your own?"

Natalie opened her eyes.

“Don’t play stupid. You know I’m not calling a bluff. You aren’t bluffing, and neither am I.” She leaned forward, just barely in his reach. “That’s what makes it exciting no? That's why you’re even entertaining this conversation.” She leaned back before reaching her arms out. Her fingers pressed numbly into a puddle, and she examined her reflection in the dim lighting of the alley. She looked so much like her mother--hair pulled back into a tight, severe ponytail--she felt her stomach lurch. “And therein lies the irony, Andrew Minyard. You kill me; you give me something I can’t give myself. And you’re still left with your own wishes for death. And you have a body to prove your impotence.”

Andrew leaned back, expression neutral. She cornered him, and she knew his kind. This sort of thing would not go unpunished. She sure hoped he kept it interesting. She felt the cold press of metal against the exposed skin of her stomach, and she didn't need to look down to know it was Andrew's blade. It was strangely relaxing. This kind of pain, she was prepared for.

“When we took your brother here he paid a busboy to knock him out. He'd rather us have skinned him alive than give me any information."

"I don't know exactly how many ways I have to rephrase for you Foxes: I am not my brother. I have nothing to hide from you. And I have no desire to get you on my side."

"That's a unique strategy on your part. I don't take kindly to people I don't like."

“I wasn't aware there was anyone you did like," she said. "Either way, I have nothing to lose from you hating me. I want you to kick me out. Staying here means I have an obligation to my brother and Kevin when all I want is severed ties. I can’t go back to Riko without them, and I’d never take them there.”

“Because you care?”

“Because he’d win, Andrew. And I so rarely get afforded the chance to.”

“And you’d get to play Exy.”

“Playing dumb makes you so dull,” she sighed.

“And yet I’m right. You love it.”

“Strange isn’t it how it’s the one thing holding us together, and it’s right at the center of ruining everyone’s lives. It’s the only advice of my mother's I wished I’d taken.”

Andrew was apparently done with the niceties of this particular conversation. “How did you end up at the Nest?”

“I wanted to make a deal. I tried to convince Neil to go, but he was steadfast in running. I left without him knowing. Hopped a freighter back from Germany and hitchhiked to the nest. I would have been executed in the spot if it had been Tetsuji that found me.” It wasn't a complete lie. Natalie thanked her stars that she was clear-headed enough that she remembered the story she'd created for herself. And the best lies after all always held bits of truth in them.

“Kevin," Andrew guessed.

“Riko.”

“He saw talent in a twelve-year-old girl on the run?”

“What he saw was competition.”

"We are leaving," Andrew said as he rose. "This isn't a conversation to be had here. I'll be back in a moment." The implicit stay here was clear.

No sooner had Andrew left than the door was opening again, this time a couple stumbling out. Their giggling stopped as they noticed Natalie.

"Whoa," said the guy. "Are you ok?"

Natalie nodded.

It took everything to open her mouth. The drugs seemed to have glued her mouth shut.

"I have five hundred dollars cash in my purse," she croaked. "It's yours if you knock me out and don't ask any questions or say a word to anyone."

"Is this a joke?" the guy asked.

Natalie fumbled with the zipper of her purse before throwing the bills out towards them. The money was dampened by the puddle but was otherwise perfectly acceptable.

"We can't just--" the guy started.

Natalie fumbled for a few more bills and threw them out as well.

"Shut up, George," said the girl as her partner started to protest once more.

She looked at the girl, and then the man who was standing next to her with a confused expression on his face. Sometimes, Neil did have a good idea or two. 


	8. Chapter 8

They didn't make the same mistake they had with Neil the first time. As soon as she woke up, Nicky was there waiting and refused to leave her sight. He was under specific instructions from Andrew not to come down until she was ready to leave or talk.

"What'd she say?" Andrew inquired when Nicky returned.

"Thought it would be fun to fuck with you. She said to send you up whenever you wanted to get the interrogation over with. Arrogant little thing, no?"

"Must be another Josten trait," Aaron said.

Andrew was intrigued, but not nearly enough to stall the game any further. He was impatient now and interested to see what kind of tales she might spin.

When he threw open the door, she was sprawled across the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"What is it you want from me?" she asked without moving.

"The truth."

She sat up slowly, grabbing hold of her head. Cracker dust had a nasty reputation for hangover potency, especially when mixed with alcohol. "You can't honestly believe my brother has given you the truth about him. About us."

"He's told me enough."

"Has he?" she asked.

"My business with Neil has no bearing on you. So don't bother parading him around in an attempt to garner sympathy."

"Fine. What do you want? There's no point beating it around the bush. I'll tell you what I can."

"Change of heart?"

"Well, there doesn't seem to be an end to this. I'm trying to be rational. I know that's a foreign concept to you, but I figured we could give it a shot."

"What does he do to you?"

"Right for the jugular no? Is this an intimidation plan?" She smiled knowingly, singing the last question in a teasing manner. "Get me to relive my past traumas so I'm too fragile to lie to you?"

Andrew said nothing. He waited.

She squinted at him before speaking.

"There's the physical torture, of course. Knives. Or burns. Broken bones, bruised ribs. Other things besides being hurt. Sleep deprivation, over-exertion. Sometimes he holds me after practice for hours without food or water. Then there are other things. Drugs." At Andrew's lack of reaction, she grew bolder. "None of that has been satisfying for him for a while now though. He would loan me out to the members of the team. Just the men at first, but then he started to get bored. And then, beyond members of the team. Sometimes he watched. Sometimes he just waited for me to beg before leaving me with them."

Andrew's face remained the same, and he could see the irritation of it boiling across her features.

"Am I boring you?" she demanded.

"You said he saw competition when he found you."

"That's not a question, Andrew." When he didn't elaborate again, she spoke up. "I didn't realize this was something I needed to explain. You've seen me play. Riko is an opportunist. When he realized who I was, he knew my life would be in his hands."

"Explain why you stayed at the Nest."

"Besides the obvious? I knew that Riko's family killed my parents. They offered me protection in exchange for playing. And how was I going to argue with that? Once I exposed myself there wasn't any way to go back. I spun them a tale about how Neil had been killed in Europe, and that without his protection I didn't know how I would survive. I was cocky enough that they were intrigued but submissive enough that they knew they would have me for the rest of my miserable fucking life."

"You expect me to believe that you didn't tell Riko about Neil?"

"That would have been idiotic once Neil exposed himself. As soon as I saw Neil on TV, I had to come clean to Riko. You saw the state I was in when I arrived. If I hadn't he would have killed me on the spot for betraying him so long. He hasn't told the main branch. He can't obviously, for now, unless something bigger comes of it. And besides, he can use Neil as leverage against Kevin and me. Or he thinks he can. That's why he sent me here in the first place."

"Then why come here? Why stay?"

Natalie smirked at him.

"It was under the promise that failure would result in death. I'm seeing if he'll default on that promise once again."

"You expect me to believe you a mole."

"Andrew. I want you to think logically about this. What kind of information would I be feeding Riko, exactly? Do you think I'm going to get close to Neil and Kevin, and then what? Kill them for Riko? He doesn't want them dead. He wants them alive and playing for the Ravens. If they are dead, he can't win."

"So why not kill them?" Andrew asked.

At that, she genuinely looked surprised. Andrew searched for any duplicity in her features and found none.

She started laughing, a smile of disbelief on her features.

"I know family means less than nothing to you, or so you say anyway. But Neil and Kevin have a chance to do something, be something. For Neil, even if it only lasts a few months, he deserves it. I don't know which one of us got off easier--he was on the run and I was in hell. And yet, I know it kills him that I got to play and he's only just getting the chance now. For Kevin...well, Kevin is everything we can never be. He got away. He can make something of himself. He has the freedom to do that. None of us--me, Neil, Jean--will ever be able to. It doesn't matter if we live or not, our lives won't ever be ours."

Andrew stared at her, reminded so much of the first real conversation he'd had with Neil that he couldn't help but believe her. He forced himself to examine her face for anything that he could use to discredit her story. When he found nothing, he spoke.

"Riko will be coming for you soon. I won't stand in his way when he drags you out." He moved towards the door, unable to look at her for another second.

"Did I pass your test?" She called out to him as he left the room. "I look forward to our next chat, Minyard."

Kevin was waiting at the bottom of the staircase when Andrew arrived.

"Well?" he asked expectantly.

"It matches your story. And Neil's."

"So, she's cleared?"

"Don't be stupid, Kevin. She isn't coming anywhere near either of you." 

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter moving forward will be dedicated entirely to one viewpoint! Hope this is exciting for some people, its been a labor of love from many different sources of inspiration: multiple sibling aus, dark!neil aus, a dying burn to write the foxes playing exy after my last fanfic, and many many gory violent movies. 
> 
> Also, the violence is tame here. It will become more graphic as we go on. I will be sure to label each chapter appropriately in the beginning notes so as to not trigger anyone.


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